I am not sure how to feel recently.
Some days I go running and try to soak it all in. The stunning mountain views, the random song birds, the cute old ladies shuffling along the sidewalk toting a hug bag of red peppers, and then I think about how much I'll miss this. This has been my life for two whole years. I can step outside my door and have a coffee with my landlord's wife. I can bike out to my friend's bakery and she'll insist on feeding me something fresh from the oven before we catch up, and inevitably end up laughing about something funny one of us says. I can stroll down the street to buy a few eggs or box of milk and be home in less than 10 minutes. I don't have car maintenance, gas expense, or an insurance bill coming every few months. I have three little kids yelling "hello!" every time I turn the corner of my drive who smile and giggle when I try to speak back to them in Albanian. *sigh* This place has become home and it's hard to imagine leaving it behind.
On the other hand, I have days when I am ready to go directly to the airport for the first flight out, tell someone off for trying to take advantage of me as a foreigner, or yell at an idot driver for nearly taking off my elbow. I have had moments where I just want to go home to a culture that I know and understand better. If I order a salad without dressing or oil, I expect it not to come drenched in either. If I go to get a box of paper clips that won't scan, I still want to buy them, or at least have someone go get me another brand. If I want to inquire about internet service, it would be nice if the lady wouldn't roll her eyes at the inconvenience of answering my simple questions. If I want to schedule a coffee with a friend for the next week, I want to be able to get a commitment and then count on them to follow through. *sigh* There are some things that I'm ready to leave behind.
I love Peja. I love my friends here. Has it been easy? NO. Have there been moments where I was ready to give up. YES. But God has been so good and given me the grace and patience to continue on when it was hard. Because of Him, and the calling for me to serve here, I have been so blessed with experiences and relationships that I would never have gotten anywhere else. I'm sure going home will be strange and there will be quite an adjustment going from a relationally-oriented culture to a time/work-related one, but God has given me a new perspective and heart for being more relaxed, people oriented, and generous with what I have. Life's too short to focus on anything but serving Him and loving others.
Some days I go running and try to soak it all in. The stunning mountain views, the random song birds, the cute old ladies shuffling along the sidewalk toting a hug bag of red peppers, and then I think about how much I'll miss this. This has been my life for two whole years. I can step outside my door and have a coffee with my landlord's wife. I can bike out to my friend's bakery and she'll insist on feeding me something fresh from the oven before we catch up, and inevitably end up laughing about something funny one of us says. I can stroll down the street to buy a few eggs or box of milk and be home in less than 10 minutes. I don't have car maintenance, gas expense, or an insurance bill coming every few months. I have three little kids yelling "hello!" every time I turn the corner of my drive who smile and giggle when I try to speak back to them in Albanian. *sigh* This place has become home and it's hard to imagine leaving it behind.
On the other hand, I have days when I am ready to go directly to the airport for the first flight out, tell someone off for trying to take advantage of me as a foreigner, or yell at an idot driver for nearly taking off my elbow. I have had moments where I just want to go home to a culture that I know and understand better. If I order a salad without dressing or oil, I expect it not to come drenched in either. If I go to get a box of paper clips that won't scan, I still want to buy them, or at least have someone go get me another brand. If I want to inquire about internet service, it would be nice if the lady wouldn't roll her eyes at the inconvenience of answering my simple questions. If I want to schedule a coffee with a friend for the next week, I want to be able to get a commitment and then count on them to follow through. *sigh* There are some things that I'm ready to leave behind.
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